akarapat 的个人资料Doors Slide Arm照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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7月19日 FinallyNever knew I can feel like this..like i've never seen the sky before.. one part from a song describing how one person feels so much in love with the other. Yes, I never knew that I 'd be able to know love once again after a long time. I guess love is like a wind, blowing here and there. once it stops at you. You just have to embrace and cherish it. true love comes in different way, mother to child , husband to wife, etc. But how can you tell that the love you have is true love? .... you don't, we don't know exactly and we cannot predict, nobody can. the oly thing we can do is to do our best in a relationship, like i always said " better regret for something that you did than for something that you didn't do", so whatever you wish to do in a relationship..just do. do your very best. for me,, I love you kub, and i'll do my best to be all i can be. 9月15日 Mountain HighHas it ever occurred to you? When you see a stunning, beautiful looking mountain. And that moment, you have a desire in your heart that you need to climb up that mountain. Then you start step by step, crossing rocks by rocks. The mountain is getting higher and steeper while you’re moving up. When you see a big rock gets in your way, you’ll automatically find other way to go on, in order to get to the top, to conquer the hill up there. This is your goal! When you put your heart onto something like climbing up this mountain, you suddenly have the spirit in you that tells you to fight, fight for yourself esteem, and win your goal. When you look around, the weather is never better, birds are singing, flying and cheering you. Nothing, nothing can get in your way right now. But then, so many steep rocks ahead, you don’t have any ideas where-else to avoid these rocks. You look high above, clouds are gathering to form a big mass of rain storm. Your climbing equipments are falling apart, pieces by pieces...No matter how much you want to go to the top, but fate...fate is playing jokes on you. Or it’s meant to be this way, you weren’t meant for this mountain.... It’s not that you don’t have a will, but your will is useless, when the mountain ‘s not giving you chances to climb. Maybe it ‘s not ready for me to climb, maybe it loves to stand still beautifully among other graceful mountains. At least i’ve tried to climb as hard as i could...I guess, i'll have to wait for a while, if i can't see other ways,, i'm climbing down. 8月26日 Night Life
I'm always be the kind of people who usually prefer staying home and doing my stuff rather than going out at night. But sometimes, in order to survive the society judgement, you are obligated to go out and party. Reminding ourselves that we are social animals that love to get together in group of sharing same interests, I decided to join this little party.
People were there ,crowd like always. I see this same thing everytime i was there. By looking at each and everyone of them, I can see different kind of people, some dancing their heart out, screaming, having the time of their life. But do i stop just that? no,, i look closer to their thoughts... i can see how lonely these people are. Some just sit there and try to look their best, sending every wink of their eyes to whomever seems to interested in him. Crusing is somewhat a thing that encripted to every move of dancing, walking, and talking. And yet, how good it felt to get all the attentions from every eyes surrounding you. But does it really make you feel good? can you trust this feeling? coz at the end when you are almost close your eyes to sleep, these feeling will long gone before you know it.
From this point, you might think that i'm one of the narrow-minded- person which 's considered a nerd who don't know how to have fun. Of course i'm not a pessimistic person, i'd have to say there're lots of joyful people there, people who doesn't care to dance to the rhythm of music, enjoy the beat and be themself.
As always, i look back at me, and wonder, what's people 'd think of me? would they think of me as one of the cool guy who always keep my image, fun guy that doesn't have a care in the world, or the most boring guy who'd love to judge people.....
8月11日 Breakdown
Now i guess i'm trying to be non-chalant about it This song appears in my head couple days ago, and it got me thinking back to the time i was suffering from so called "denial" period. I said i was ok, but as the song said, i was dying inside. It's funny when sometimes certain thing or word can give you a flashback to the situation you've faced before in the past and suddenly, things you didn't want to remember just pop up in your head once again and give you a hard time.
This time, being away from home seemed endless and no fun at all. Everything turned grey when you're not happy, just like people used to say " it's the mind that overcomes anything". I lay in bed all day but couldn't help thinking that at least one good thing about going to Dubai this time was i really get a full rest. Room service menu has never been so boring, i had to figure it out what i 'd like to have between Chicken Briyani(yellow rice) or Mutton curry which both choices are not so delightful. At the end, i spent my day reading book and sleeping alone in a room.
Some might say 'interesting', or 'exciting' when they look at my life. But those who have known me, or look closely will know that my life is somehow the most boring life ever. compare to you? what do you think?
8月6日 Patience
On my way heading home from work, I was driving but wasn't looking at the road, my mind was there somewhere else. Listening to the music gave me a chill on my back as i thought about the lyric. Beyonce was singing about finding her dream, her man, and that's the reason that keeps her alive and going. I was there looking back to myself, have i ever had a dreammate, a person i create to be my ideal partner.
I stopped and looked back to my 26-year-life, searching for some love moment that was hardly there. It got me thinking, do i ever know love at all? Some good memories that i want to cherish are still there along with bad ones. But i couldn't find the answer to my question.
We all have dreams, some follow them, some quit. Will you go for your dream if you finally find it or let it go? we can't make people to be what we want them to be. All we can do is just be patience, and wait for the brigher morning to come. 7月29日 Beautiful liar
Nobody likes being played
We all live in a world full of big fat lies. It's difficult sometimes to tell someone if he's coming for a good intention or not. But for me, I still believe in decency of people, I believe sometimes people lie because they think it's the best way to escape whatever the situaion they're in, the problem they can't cope.
I just think that instead of speaking all those lies, why not at least stand up and be a man, tell the truth for once in your life. People understand truth more than lie.
Trust is a key to relationship, i can give whatever i have to give to anyone who shows that his sincerity is true. So whatever you do, do it true!
7月20日 Ahead
When you sit by the pond, staring quietly to the sky. Feeling calm and rested. That moment, you notice how stable the water in the pond is, even the breezy wind, it cannot break the steady tide.
I was that pond, steady and still. Yes there might be sometimes that a frog might jump up and down the pond to make a wavy tide, but it was only a small one. There was no way that little frog can make my water spill up out the pond.
Till now,
A big rock is thrown into this pond, I don't know where it comes from, but it shakes everything in my pond around. The agitation of the water is so extreme that shows the splash all over the place. I've lost my stability.
And you know what?, somehow i like it, i like to be moved, i like to be agitated, maybe because this pond is tired of staying stable for so long, and so ready to get excited. Not knowing what the consequences i might face, maybe the next rock might spill out all of the water in my pond, it's worth it.
I'm looking for the road ahead.
7月16日 Grown Up
Yes, i've grown up.
Taking REC(Royal Executive Class) course can prove it right after 4 tiring years of doing a mass production work in Economy class. I feel more mature, more specific, more skillful of what i'm doing.
Besides from my training, I'm having a difficulty deciding people. I 'm so confuse of some behaviour that people do, it's hard to predict and i'm feeling a little unsecure because i don't wanna hurt anyone's feeling.
I hope for the best for them but i have to think about what i want to.
Somehow i feel like i wanna stop, and think about the word "enough" thoroughly over and over again. I really really wanna be able to do that. But love just gets me everytime! and i have to give in to lust blindness which it's so hard to resist.
6月7日 I'm back
And yes... i'm back again with my own two feet! heh heh
Many many things have passed by..it's been 2 months apart from writing this blog, 1 months from singing in bloggang, and 2 weeks from the internet. It's like i'm lost in a real world which normally i'm always busy in the lineage world :)
The last 4 days were days that i realised that there's nothing more precious than having a good health. I had an "acute appendix" and need to be operated asap. I was scared lying there fully senses in front of the OR, imagining this is it, this is how people feel when they' re on their first operation. I couldn't remember when i passed out when the doctor made me smell those gas, but i fully remembered when i woke up from the sound of people telling me to breathe. Oh it was like you were newly born again.. it was like everything in the movie should be.
Now i'm in the recovery period, 2 weeks off from work give me a happiest time of staying home but still.. being apart of work too long makes you wanna go to work again :)
People say you can find true friends when troubles come. It's true
3月19日 The CoreWhat' s the core in life?
Recently, i have a chance to go to see some part of thailand. The part that most of us know it's there but never really know or see it. It's a village of small tribes that live harmoniously with us for such a long time.
This village 's located in the lower part of Chiang Rai, You have to go down the woods to a small path to see them. The Long Neck tribe, When i first saw them,i wonder wow, how can people live like this, they have no TV, no computer, or all kind of facilities that we have. and yet , you can still see a smile on thier faces, They look happy.
3月12日 KarmaDo you believe in karma?
In buddhism, we all have been taught that you'll get what you give, Somehow things that you have done will come back for you, in this lifetime or the next. Every good or bad things that had happened to us since we were born til now at this very moment, has a reason to happen that way.
Have you ever wondered why you were born this way, with your cute button nose, and your big doe eyes, you were born with the skinny body or chubby structure. It's all about karma!
I lost my money today, someone stole it but i couldn't find out who. So i just thought , man, I must have done something bad in the past, there's no reason to get all moody about the money that you'll never get back. So I just thought of it as a payback! I might have stolen something from someone in my past so this incident 's happening to me. All i can do is just learn to accept the truth. I know it's a lot of money , and it's hard to let go... but sometimes you have to let things go to move on.
2月13日 UnpredictableListen.. to the song here in my heart, a melody that starts but can't complete...
Life is astronishing! One minute you're happy, the other you're down! Not too long ago, I have a flight to Singapore which i thought wow.. I really wanted to go coz i had plans, lists to buy,etc. Suddenly all my hopes were trembling down because of the flight cancellation :( As i was saying, there's nothing in this world that is certain. Even the strongest heart can be broken. That day i had to fly to Chaing Mai instead, with a cling in my disappointed feeling. Then I realized that you cannot control everything, you just have to accept it.
Everytime that i have to get on my uniform suits, pack my uniform bag, and leave my house and my dear family, I'd never know at all,, that I might not come back to see their faces again. That could be my last time to see them, so I pray that i can do the best, I prepare myself and my heart to leave..and should i die, I have nothing to regret!
Valentine's day is tomorrow, Still no plan and no one :) What a wonderful world! But I've something that keeps me alive durig this period, My room will finally be fully furnished ! :) COOL
1月9日 Please love me, Pig!Well, It's been a long time since i last updated my space. The year of the pig is cautious! so we have to start our new year with good heart and good merit in order to get through this year safely.
The year passed by so quickly, i still remember last new year celebration i was with my best friend, Kim, having a late night supper at one restaurant called "Dang". And this year i had to fly over to Dubai and celebrated new year with my new friend who's been here with me lately, his name is ALONE!
Lately i've been obsessed, no i'd say addicted to one website called "bloggang" , it's just like a blog for everyone to write and express himself ,just like this msn space but there's one category named "singing" that interests me most. It's a blog where everyone can sing their own songs and published on the webpage so that everyone can listen and make any comment or suggestion about how he sings, just like American Idol, heh heh. I even have a webpage of my own,, if u 'r interested pls visit http://www.bloggang.com/mainblog.php?id=akarapat
As I said, i spent most of my time singing in a blog so i just ignored my precious thoughts and memories to write in this space, sometimes i often wonder why things won't go like this insteadof that, it's just a silly thoughts of mine that i always wanted to write. When you were a child, you don't know what to expect, you're always told what to do. you have all the energy to study or learn and never lose the will to go on. But look at me, at this point, middle-aged guy, I'm always do what i'd like to do, But why can't I start any new things in life that i wanted to. When I feel like I wanted to paint, there's always something more important for me to do, and i just can't paint!
The different between the adults and child is TIME, kids always have time, but what about us? we can hardly find time!
12月11日 BLRSigh!
My flight to BLR (Bangalore) was terrible. Fully booked passengers were okay compare to the incooperative of the crew members. TG uses airbus 330 to fly on this route, there are two galleys for the economy passengers. All crew members workin gin economy class are responsible for the special meal on board even the meals are loaded in the back galley.
What troubles me most is that crew member in the front galley didn't even show up to help distributing the special meals. And i feel so sorry for everyone working in the back galley that we have to work twice as hard. I was speechless!
Just hoping that my next flight isn't this bad
12月6日 Twisted  The end of this year is near, everyone's looking for season's greeting-- chirstmas, new year, etc. Of course, christmas is always be a time when everyone's so "joyful joyful". Well, it's nice to hear lovely music on almost every radio play, even on a plane, they still turn on christmas music and video, just hoping that they will change the video this year coz it's been played three year already. Passengers who travel with us during last three year during christmas 'd have noticed that :)
I just got back from Busan (Korea) and please don't mention about the weather, of course it's freezing cold. But what excite me most about this trip is to go soak myself in a hot natural spring water :) ahhh it's sure does release some stress, just like Onsen in japan, people go in and soak themself in a big bath tub. But the better part is that the hotel here is located by the sea, so you can enjoy your hot onsen while happily watch over the endless ocean view. heh heh jealous of me now, don't you?
Sometimes when you look at something, but it turns out differently. Things aren't what they seem, people aren't what we hope them to be. Yes They can get you twisted. What can you trust? who can you believe?
no one but yourself, mark my word! 11月29日 Starry Night
I like night time,
At night, i can be more concentrate on what i'm doing. maybe because of the darkness, the silence, the fact that you are awake and alone. It gives you more time to think and reconcern about yourself.
When you 're really really into something or someone, it hurts! Not because you can't get what you want, but it's because you want it to be perfect so you can't let anything get in a way. And when obstacles arise, you get hurt of trying to find the solution, of trying to fix it.
Once someone said "money is power", and yet another one said "knowledge is power".. what do u think? Being able to know more about literature, science, art, etc is defenitely a plus. It 's like you have a ticket to go anywhere in the world, and this ticket is your knowledge. Right now i'm decorating my room, somehow i wish i 'd known some details or informations about this field. Then I wouldn't make any mistake on my DIY work, But yes,, i'll try to learn step by step.. come on,, everyone has to know how to fail in order to win.
Ohh yes... i like night time, mostly the time i fall asleep and snore :) 11月22日 hello worldLet me start my writing today with the extreme irritating weather here in bangkok! It's the end of November, but I still feel like i'm in New mexico in April. This hot climate 's draining out your energy, making you less active, ahhh and you just want to stay indoor forever.
What do u think of three most important activities in life? eat, sleep, sex? well, if you have the best food, then you won't regret of being born, and once you had enough rest, your awake will make you feel refresh. What about sex? how do you judge that your sex experience is or isn't the best ever yet? ..let me put out it this way.. how do you define "best"? most wild? most romantic? most fun? most kinky? someone know the answer to this pls let me know.
When you 're older, you can see things in a different view. I once used to like playing classical music, i thought it was so classy and stuff. After that i stopped and then played pop, and i thought wow.. this's what i really like. Now i'm trying to learn how to play jazz and blues, I think it rocks! I think that it's more variety, and more sensational! I don't know why i 'm talking about why i like jazz and blue here.. heh heh..
Anyway,, Right now i'm trying to find time to relax again,, thinking of going to the beach or open sea, since it's still hot in thailand, so going to the beach in december isn't that strange. Mountains is another thing i havent' done for a long time, Maybe rafting? heh heh I need to find friends to do that.
11月8日 IrreplaceableSo Since I'm not your everything
How about I'd be nothing..Nothing at all to You
..
..
So Don't you ever for a second get to thinking that
You're irreplaceable
11月7日 Bad HabitHow many times Are you going to apologize about the same thing
And how many times can I take you back When I'm not the one that's doing wrong I thought that maybe if I started praying That we would get better but When I would pray the answer would always come Back to me being done But we're so hardheaded when we're in love So I, I told myself that I would make some changes But the more I change There's one thing that remains the same I can't seem to shake you. You seem to really have a hold on me And every time that we break up We turn around and make up This can't go on now.I gotta move on now It's not the fact that I don't love you no more But I got to break this bad habit....Can't take this bad habit no more By Destiny's child
It's hurting to know the truth that you will not be loved anymore. I know that i'm the one who seems to be strong, be able to handle every little problems, be the one who 's always be stable. So what? even the strongest stone can be fragiled. So just like the song..I gotta break
this bad habit, can't take this bad habit no more :)
Tomorrow i have to get my medical check-up done, which i really hate to do so. First you can't eat anything from midnight until you have your blood injection in order to have the correct result on your blood concentration. And that's killing me coz i always love to eat at night just before bed :-P
I got back from CGP today and oh..it's very tiring mak mak.... driving home on a congested road from workplace is something that hasn't haapened to me for a long time. I felt like i just wanna close my eyes and dream of a soft cosy bed. But then i had to concentrate on the road. But then when i got home, i just log in and write this blog,, where have the sleepy feelings gone? heh heh 10月29日 Sleep
Have you ever wondered why we have to sleep? It's funny when you think about it, every morning you wake up and never wonder why we slept last night? To regain our strength? or to rest ? We all know from science class that the answer could be anything, but i don't know, for me, i just wonder, that everyone i see walking pass by, waiting for the bus at the bus station, working at hamberger's store, everyone.. has got to sleep last night. Maybe it's just me that got so strange about my thoughts.. ok enough for the sleep part. I'm just babbling again :( Recently, i have to work on decorating my room. Because i want it to look very cosy and mediteratian, so it's very tough to decide what color scheme should i use for the walls. Finally i chose dark greyish blue and white to make it looks comforatble and easy to furnish. Blue and white go with almost anything from victorian to modern design. So, selecting the cute and perfect furniture is something i have to be very slow.
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